If you’re looking for books that will help boost your tween daughter’s self esteem, look no further! I’ve compiled a list of the top 10 self esteem books for tweens girls, based on recommendations from parents and experts.
Did you know that 1 in 7 girls are unhappy with their appearance by the time they leave primary school? And, worryingly, this rises to 1 in 3 by the time they’re 14 years old.
As a mum to two girls – one of which is nearing the end of her primary school years – I’m horrified by these findings from a recent study by The Prince’s Trust and the Education Policy Institute.
But I’m also aware that there’s lots we as parents can do to help lessen the negative impact puberty and adolescence can have on our daughters’ emotional well-being.
It’s interesting that the same study also found that 40% of girls who spent more than 5 hours a day on social media showed signs of depression.
But for younger tweens, or girls who don’t use social media, there is still a need for us parents to acknowledge the fact that our darling daughters are likely to experience a dip in their self-esteem at some point between the age of 8 and 14.
And now we know this, we need to be prepared for it.
Fortunately, there are many great books out there that can help tween girls boost their self esteem.
Here I’m going to share with you my top 10 must-read self esteem books for tweens girls.
What is Low Self Esteem and Why do Tween Girls Experience it More than Boys?
Self esteem is defined as how you feel about yourself. It’s the voice in your head that tells you whether you’re good enough, whether you’re doing a good job, or whether you’re just not cut out for something.
For tween girls, low self esteem can be especially prevalent.
There are several reasons why tween girls might have lower self esteem than boys.
- The media is full of images and messages that tell girls they need to be thin, beautiful and “perfect” in order to be valued.
- Girls also tend to compare themselves more to others, which can lead to feeling inadequate.
- Puberty brings with it a whole host of changes that can be difficult to adjust to, both physically and emotionally.
- Girls are more likely to internalise their emotions, which means they’re more likely to blame themselves for things that go wrong.
All of these factors can contribute to low self esteem in tween girls. Fortunately, there are many things that parents and caregivers can do to help boost a girl’s self esteem.
Related: Share these 40 confidence quotes for girls with your daughter
How to Recognise the Signs That Your Tween Daughter Has Low Self Esteem
It can be difficult to tell whether or not your daughter has low self-esteem. However, there are some common signs that you can look out for.
If you notice any of the following in your daughter, it may be an indication that her self-esteem is low. Your daughter might be experiencing low self esteem if she:
- is overly concerned with what other people think of her.
- has difficulty accepting compliments.
- avoids taking risks or trying new things.
- is excessively critical of herself.
- frequently compares herself unfavorably to others.
- is very sensitive to criticism, even when it’s helpful or constructive.
- feels she is not good enough or doesn’t deserve good things in her life.
- has become withdrawn and stopped participating in activities she once enjoyed.
- starts to believe she is not good enough or worthy of love and attention.
One of these signs by itself is not necessarily a cause of concern. It could just be that your daughter’s having a bad day.
But if you begin to notice several of these signs developing over a period of time, then your daughter may well be experiencing low self esteem.
Related: Discover the 7 life lessons I want my daughters to learn
The Dangers of Low Self Esteem for Tween Girls
Low self esteem can have a profound and lasting effect on pre-teen girls. Here are five of the most worrying effects associated with having low self esteem:
First, pre-teen girls with low self esteem are more likely to experience depression.
This is because they tend to see themselves in a negative light and have difficulty coping with day-to-day stressors. Additionally, they are more likely to turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms – such as alcohol or drugs – in order to numb their negative emotions.
Second, pre-teen girls with low self esteem are more likely to engage in risky behaviors.
This is because they may feel that they are not worthy of love or respect and therefore may seek out attention in unhealthy ways. Additionally, they may lack confidence, believe that they are not good enough and or take unnecessary risks in order to prove their worth.
Third, pre-teen girls with low self esteem are more likely to have difficulty in school.
This is because they often lack the motivation to do well and may feel like they are not smart enough. Additionally, they may have difficulty making friends and fitting in, which can lead to further isolation and feelings of inadequacy.
Related: Find out why my daughter thought girls can’t be astronauts and what I did about it
Fourth, pre-teen girls with low self esteem are more likely to develop eating disorders.
This is because they often develop body image issues giving them a distorted view of their bodies. They may see themselves as overweight or unattractive, when actually they are a healthy weight for their age and height. Additionally, they may use food as a way to cope with their negative emotions.
Finally, pre-teen girls with low self esteem are more likely to experience anxiety.
This is because they often worry about what others think of them and may feel like they are not good enough. Additionally, they may avoid social situations for fear of being rejected or ridiculed, which again leads to further isolation and feeling inadequate.
Low self esteem can have a serious and lasting impact on pre-teen girls. If you are concerned that your daughter may be struggling with low self esteem, it is important to seek professional help.
How Can Parents Help Boost Their Tween Daughter’s Self Esteem?
It can be difficult for us to watch our daughters go through the tween years.
Our darling daughters – once filled with an endless happiness – now seem moody, irritable and generally unhappy. Not always, but enough to make our hearts break a little.
It’s totally normal for us parents to feel helpless and wonder what we can do to help boost our daughter’s confidence.
Here are five top tips on how parents can help boost their tween daughter’s self-esteem:
- Encourage your daughter to express her feelings. It’s important for her to know that it’s okay to feel angry, frustrated or sad. Let her know that you’re there for her and want to help her through whatever she’s going through.
- Help your daughter find activities that make her feel good about herself. Whether it’s a sport, hobby or after-school activity, finding something that she enjoys and challenges her will build a sense of competence and help boost her self-esteem.
- Encourage your daughter to be kind to herself. Help her understand that she doesn’t have to be perfect to be loved and valued. Teach her to accept herself for who she is.
- Praise your daughter for her accomplishments, no matter how small. Help your daughter identify her strengths reinforces the idea that she is capable and competent.
- Make time for her. Let her know that she’s important to you and that you love spending time with her. Show her that she can count on you to be there for her.
By following these simple steps, you can help boost your tween daughter’s self-esteem.
Top 10 Must-Read Self Esteem Books for Tweens Girl
If you’re looking for books that will help boost your tween daughter’s self esteem, look no further!
I’ve put together a list of the top 10 self esteem books for tweens girls, based on recommendations from parents and experts.
Reading these books will help your daughter learn to love herself, appreciate her unique qualities and feel confident in who she is.
Here’s a list of the best self-esteem books for tweens girls, written specifically for pre-teen girls.
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1. Diary of a Brilliant Kid: Top Secret Guide to Awesomeness
I was lucky enough to attend a training event delivered by Andy Hope (aka Dr of Happiness) and absolutely loved his approach to mental health. Rather than focusing on why people are depressed or unhappy, he’s researched what makes happy people happy. I bought this book for my 9 year old daughter there and then. And we read it together. It’s packed with lots of great advice and fun anecdotes that kept us both entertained from cover to cover.
2. A Girl’s Guide to Being Fearless: How to Find Your Brave
My second choice is another book that’s jointly authored by the Dr of Happiness, Andy Cope this time with Suzie Lavington. I love the approach they take in acknowledging it’s pointless trying to tell girls not to take selfies or post them on social media. Instead they give our daughters the tools they need to safeguard their mental health and develop their self confidence and love the skin they’re in. And I love how they provide practical exercises that teach tween and teen girls how to eliminate self-limiting beliefs.
3. You Can Be Whatever You Want, Girl!
Meet Liri. She’s the one who’ll guide your daughter through this bestselling workbook, helping her through those tricky tween and early teen years. This is an inspiring book full of motivational ideas, helpful tips and practical tools that will enable your daughter to unlock her confidence and build her resilience. I love how Liri teaches us about the importance of setting both long and short term goals, and how we can break these down into manageable smaller tasks.
4. The Worry Workbook: Kids Activity Book for Dealing with Anxiety
It’s perfectly normal for people to be anxious about things. That’s our brains way of protecting us from danger. But anxiety is different to this normal emotion. And it can be crippling, particularly for our younger kids who haven’t developed the emotional maturity to understand or explain their feelings. This workbook is aimed at children aged 8-12, so is perfect for younger tweens as well as those nearing their teens. It’s packed with activities that will help your child deal with worries and push through their anxieties.
5. Growing Up for Girls: Everything You Need to Know
This bestselling book by Dr Emily MacDonagh is a tell-all book about puberty for girls. She goes through the physical and emotional changes that girls bodies and minds go through during puberty. And there’s even a section on the changes boys go through too, which is empowering for girls to know during this time of curiosity. I love how Emily MacDonagh isn’t afraid to tackle the big things girls are worried about puberty in a way they won’t be embarrassed to learn about. I’d go as far as to say this should be essential reading for all girls!
6. Happy Confident Me: Daily Journal
Co-authored by a psychologist and a parenting expert, this journal is packed with activities that will teach your daughter 10 essential life skills. The 10 essential life skills taught in the book are: self-awareness, positive thinking, regulating feelings, developing a growth mindset, learning from mistakes, resilience, creativity, mindfulness, compassion and acceptance. Written for kids aged 8 years and older, it’s a great choice for tween girls.
7. Hey Girl! Empowering Journal for Girls
Journaling is a great way to offload your thoughts, worries and anxieties from your brain. Even jotting down important things to remember lightens the load and gives our head some breathing space. But lots of blank pages can be daunting, which is what makes this best-selling journal perfect for tweens. It’s structured with quotes, prompts and activities but still offers freedom for your daughter to express herself. And it’s super-cute too!
8. Art Journal for Girls
Some kids are more visual than others and prefer image to text. If this sounds like your daughter then she’ll love this art journal. There’s creative drawing prompts, colouring and doodle pages depending on your daughter’s mood that day. I love the handy hints on what to do if you make a mistake, which can be a real stumbling block for people who suffer with anxiety.
9. You Are Unique and You Can Achieve Anything!
This is a collection of short stories for girls aged 5 to 10 years old, so really for early readers and younger tweens. They’re perfect for you to read with your daughter at bedtime. Don’t be put off by the pink for girls and blue for boys. The actual stories aren’t stereotyped this way. Each short story has it’s own empowering message of self-acceptance. But not in a way that’ll make your eyes roll!
10. Nancy Drew – Starter Set Books 1-5
I wanted to end this list of self esteem books for tweens girls with something a little different. All of the books above encourage our daughters to be self-reflective and introspective, which is totally valuable. But our girls can learn so much from powerful role models – even fictional ones! Generations of women have found their inner courage from reading the Nancy Drew collection of stories. I’m sure your daughter will find the teenage detective courageous, inspiring and, well, totally awesome!
Self-Esteem Books for Tweens Girl: Final Thoughts
If you’re looking for books that will help boost your tween daughter’s self esteem, look no further!
I’ve compiled a list of the top 10 self esteem books for tweens girls, based on recommendations from parents and experts.
Reading these books will help your daughter learn to love herself, appreciate her unique qualities and feel confident in who she is.
Remember, it’s important to start building your daughter’s self esteem early. The better she feels about herself, the more successful and happy she’ll be as she grows up. Thanks for reading!
Do you have any books you’d add to this list? Let me know in the comments below.
What Next?
Read these posts next or bookmark them for later:
- 40 Confidence Quotes for Girls (to boost their self esteem!)
- How to Make Petal Art for Beginners
- 7 Reasons We Love To Play Yahtzee
- Fun Board Games for Girls
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Hi, I’m Jennie and I’m the blogger and content creator behind the award-winning blog GinGin & Roo, a UK parenting and lifestyle blog.
I love your post. Although I am not a teen , I resonate with a lot of the points you mentioned and I still battle with self esteem issues till today.
Thank you. This was helpful.